as the tears fall down

this will be tons different from my last post in one way... i am no longer mad...upset yes i love alissayes i do tonight we had a blast just doing ramdom things in lodi well we went to rent a movie and it turned in to a pretty fun night we ended up stay at blockbuster flirting with the guy who worked there till close! then came back to alissa's house which was all good..till i fell asleep and wake up to the sounds of them making out, now in no way am i mad at her he was pretty cute and hell she needs some loving..its just make me miss jon more then i know at that moment i just wanted to call him up and tell him how much i still needed him..do i need him? does he need me? funny thing is i miss him like crazy..more so bc i think i'll never see him again and that itself hurts like hell.. i mean i know he will miss me but gosh it will be so much easier for him to get over me then for me to get over him...arggg but i am please with myself i haven't been really upset.. but when i heard that it just made me miss him more then anything arg... if i knew the last time i was going to kiss him was the last time forever.. it would have ment a bit more to me... i mean our last time together was great.. lol here it sounds like he is dead! lol o no... jon i really just want to see you again and say goodbye to you in person! please give me that.... PLEASE! i'll give you a few weeks to clam down and stuff but i just want to see you so please give me just that i just want to say goodbye the right way..gosh i am going to miss you so much i think back to all the fun we had and i mean i know you had fun.. you showed it arg... bleh i hate this i don't want to be wth you anymore i just want to say my goodbye and hope that will end on a better note... anyways i really came on to see if dillion was on..needed to talk but dale was thanks for being great friends and jon....i am not mad i just hurt :( i'll be fine....